Three's not a crowd but a success formula for a Christian marriage!
There’s always three involved in a successful Christian marriage: a husband, a wife, and God.
We asked our Silver Force Marriage Mentors for advice on how to build strong marriages by placing God at the center of the relationship. During this time, as you and your spouse work from home together, these reminders and tips will help you to continue journeying life together
Why is it important for husbands and wives to engage with God together?
"Engaging with God together is important to ensure that we agree with the direction He is leading the family – He is not a God of inconsistency.”
Colin and Susan Lincoln Married for 36 years
“God is the critical third party in our marriage so the 'cord' doesn’t come loose. As He is the One who brings a man and woman together in holy matrimony, He will also be the one to keep the marriage healthy and vibrant.
God breathes life into our interaction with each other so that our marriage is a relationship that is active and growing.
He unites our differences and is the only resource from whom we can receive wisdom and discernment for this complicated union of two independent individuals.”
Brian and Shirley Koh Married for 25 years
"As we each draw closer to God, we are also drawn closer to each other through this shared experience of loving God and becoming more like Him.
By being accountable to one another, we can encourage and spur each other on to grow in our walk with God.”
Lawrence Yeo and Wang Look Keah Married for 36 years
“There are too many things in life that we don’t have answers or solutions for. Coming to God together is a physical and spiritual reminder of how much we depend on Him in our everyday lives.
By making engaging with God a lifestyle, the times spent together in pursuit of Him will only serve to strengthen the marriage bonds as you spur each other on to grow spiritually.”
Terence Wong and Nora Choy Married for 33 years
What is your advice for couples who wish to establish a regular time with God together?
“Both husband and wife must choose to make engaging with God a priority. Schedule time to share what God has been doing in each other’s lives.
Take every opportunity to pray together, committing every aspect of life to Him. Dive deeper into the Word together.
Serve God together.
Put time with God as top priority in your schedules.”
Lawrence Yeo and Wang Look Keah Married for 36 years
“Each spouse must commit to growing and developing their own Time Alone With God. Only through personal engagement can spouses then bring their relationship with God to another level as a couple. In times of sharing, don’t misuse the platform to 'tell each other off.'
Be sensitive to what your spouse is saying and to the prompting of the Holy Spirit.”
Colin and Susan Lincoln Married for 36 years
“We must choose to look beyond ourselves and look to God for all things and situations.
Living with another person is not easy and your spouse is no exception.
With God as the center of your marriage, work to deepen your love for each other as you trust and see how God turns each other’s weaknesses into strengths in your relationship.
With that in place, establishing regular time with God together will come naturally and easily.”
Michael Wong and June Chan Married for 22 years
What encouragement can you give to a spouse who wants to engage with God but their other half does not want to?
by Colin and Susan Lincoln
1 Peter 3:1-2 reminds us of the importance of our living testimony to our pre-believing spouse or spouse that does not share the same spiritual fervor as we do.
Though this verse is addressing a wife’s conduct to husbands, I believe its principle is equally applicable for Christian husbands to their wives.
Be strong in your Time Alone With God.
Salvation and spiritual growth are things that cannot be rushed into and without a strong relationship with God, it will be impossible to persevere.
In moments of frustration, resist the temptation to react negatively to your spouse’s apathy, defensiveness, or hostility by surrendering your emotions to the Lord.
As much as we love our spouse and want the best for him/her, we must remember that God loves our spouse even more and He has a wonderful plan for his/her life (Jeremiah 29:11).
To be a strong Christian witness to your spouse, remember that it’s about consistency. Consistently exercise grace.
Consistently demonstrate the fruit of the Spirit especially in tough and trying situations. Consistently interact with your spouse in a loving and respectful manner, even if it is not reciprocated. Your spouse will come to experience God through your words and actions.
Be attuned to your spouse’s needs and invite him/her to the various church platforms that can meet the needs (e.g., Life Skills Seminar, *TA courses, Connect Groups). Offer to accompany him/her but do not insist that he/she must go.
Most importantly, undergird all of your words and actions with fervent prayer.
Salvation belongs to the Lord and only He can soften hearts. As you exercise total reliance on God, remain hopeful that He will turn the heart of your spouse towards Him. Believe that you and your spouse will, in His time, love God together.
*Some terms have been edited to reflect latest terminology used by the church.
This article first appeared in Issue 02/2018, Trinitarian Magazine
Reflect & Respond - as a couple!
Is there something about your spouse you can thank God and your spouse for? What are the areas of growth God has pointed out?
How can you fit regular Time Alone with God into your schedules and share this intimate journey of growth together? Make it a date night together, with God in the center!
Recommended
This article is part of our R.E.S.E.T. Toolkit Refresh. Encourage. Strengthen. Empower. Thrive.